


One Small Step at a Time

by cresswells



Category: Darkest Powers - Kelley Armstrong
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 10:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cresswells/pseuds/cresswells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Derek tries to adjust to his new wolf body, he reflects on his changing friendship with Chloe. Chapter 20 of The Reckoning (Derek's first full change) from Derek's perspective. Chloe/Derek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Small Step at a Time

I was a wolf.

Every bone and muscle in my body seemed to ache from sheer exhaustion, and my mind was whirling, trying to make sense of this strange new body I wasn't accustomed to. But the pain was gone now, and... I'd done it. I'd Changed.

And I wasn't a scary, lunatic wolf-man from one of Chloe's movies either. That's something I'd been scared of. I knew that technically it was just supposed to be me in wolf form, but what if those freaky Edison Group experiments had taken away some of my humanity too? Luckily, that didn't seem to be the case. I was still me. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked up. Chloe was looking right back at me.

Chloe. She looked different somehow, through my wolf eyes. Still Chloe, but... well, for one thing, even though she was sitting down, she looked taller. That was weird. I usually had to crane my neck down to see her properly. I knew that if I stood on two feet I'd probably still be taller than she is. But right now, with my aching muscles, I didn't want to test that theory. Instead, I took a shaky step towards her.

And fell flat on my face. Ow.

Chloe scrambled over to me. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, but the movement was awkward. I could hardly feel my face moving. It didn't feel like my face anymore. My eyes closed of their own accord. I was tired. _Really tired._

I was almost ready to fall asleep then and there, when I heard Chloe's footsteps padding away. That woke me right up. I tried to call out to get her attention and ask her where the hell she thought she was going. Instead, all I managed was a weird sort of grunt.

Right. Limited vocal communication. That was going to be annoying.

She turned. "I thought you'd want to be – "

_Alone?_ I cut her off with a snort. She'd ignored me the first time, when I'd actively _told_ her to run – why change the habit of a lifetime now? Besides, now that I'd changed (and apparently not harmed her in any way) there was no way in hell I was letting her out of my sight.

She fumbled around with something in her pocket. My sharp eyes caught a glint of silver in the darkness. Her switchblade knife.

"I'll be fine," she said, gripping the silver blade. "I'm armed."

I snorted again. It felt weird that I couldn't really use my voice to say what I wanted, but it was enough that I could understand her. I tried to use my strange new body to communicate instead. I jerked my head to the spot she'd just left. _Get back over there._

She hesitated. I bared my teeth and tried to look threatening. .. though I didn't really know _what_ I looked like at the moment. When she still didn't move, a growl slipped instinctively from between my lips. Chloe laughed.

"Well, you've got the growling part down the pat already. Must be all those years of practice."

I tried to stand. If she wasn't going to move, I'd drag her back here myself. Turns out, standing was a lot harder than I'd bargained for though. My legs wobbled and shook. I glanced down at them, suddenly uncertain. I knew plenty about wolf anatomy, but only from books. It'd never been _my_ anatomy before. My knees and joints and elbows felt all out of place. Like someone had bent them round the wrong way. And when I tried to stand, my feet were the wrong shape.

"All right, I'm coming back," I heard Chloe say. She walked over to me, completely at ease in her own skin. "I just didn't want to be in your way."

I tried to scoff, but it came out as a weird sort of grunt. It didn't seem to faze Chloe though.

"You can understand me, can't you?" she said as she slumped back down onto my abandoned sweatshirt. "You know what I'm saying."

I nodded again. Or at least, I tried to. My head felt too big – too long and too wide – and my neck didn't seem to be as flexible in wolf form. I snarled at the awkwardness of it all.

Chloe grinned. "Not easy when you can't talk, is it?" she teased. "Well, not easy for you. I could get used to it."

I grumbled, half-heartedly. To be completely honest, I couldn't really bring myself to feel anything but relief right now. It was good to see her take this in her stride, along with everything else. And I didn't even feel ' _wolfie_ '. That was my biggest relief. I was still me. Still Derek.

"So I was right, wasn't I?" Chloe continued, voicing my thoughts again. "It's still you, even in wolf form."

I grunted. _Yes._

"No sudden uncontrollable urges to go kill something?"

I rolled my eyes, remembering her words from a couple of weeks ago – _not unless being a werewolf transforms you into a wolf_ and _a redneck moron._ I was fairly certain that transformation hadn't happened yet.

"Hey, you're the one who was worried," she reminded me. "And... I don't smell like dinner, right?"

I glared at her again. I wasn't sure it would have nearly the same effect in wolf form, but she got the hint.

"Just covering all the bases," she said quickly, hands raised in mock surrender.

I laughed – or made a noise that sounded a bit like a chuckle – and slumped back down to the ground. Now that the initial shock had worn off, I just felt... exhausted. Settling down to rest was as awkward as standing up in wolf form, but I managed to lean my head on my hands – paws – and settled closer to the ground. It felt soft and pliable under me. Not hard and cold as it was before. I had the sudden urge to sink my claws into the ground in front of me to test how strong they really were. I snorted again. That was definitely the wolf talking. No matter how interested I was in the science of all this, I wasn't going to be digging any holes anytime soon.

I stared at Chloe as she tried to get comfortable. No matter how warm I was, _she_ was still human, and currently only wearing thin pyjamas and a summer jacket. I watched for a while as she shivered and shuffled around, before I couldn't take it anymore. I reached out to pull her towards me.

Only my hands weren't exactly the best tools for the job anymore. I pawed clumsily at the sweatshirt she was sitting on. No luck. _Damn it._ I couldn't curse, but my snarl said pretty much everything.

"The lack of opposable thumbs is going to take some getting used to, huh?"

I huffed and resorted to motioning her forward with my newly-tapered nose. Or... I guess that would be called a muzzle. Weird. It still felt like a nose to me. _My_ nose.

Chloe frowned, but she had that familiar look in her eyes – like she knew what I was trying to say and was just being difficult about it because she thought _her_ way was better. I twisted towards her impatiently and tugged on the sweatshirt with my teeth. Ugh. Like a _dog_. Great. Tori would have a field day about this.

"Okay, okay," Chloe said, relenting. "I'm just trying not to crowd you."

I grunted again. _It's fine._

She shuffled over to me, seeming nervous all of a sudden. When she shivered again, I shifted to my right, blocking the cold wind coming from the north-westerly edge of the forest. The movement also inadvertently brought me a little bit closer to her. I glanced over at her again. She was still huddled up, but at least she wasn't shivering.

Another grunt. _That better?_

"Yes, that's better," she assured me. "Thanks. Now get some rest."

I hesitated. Every instinct was telling me to close my eyes and fall asleep, because my body couldn't take much more without rest. But I remembered the last time I'd fallen asleep in a forest with Chloe. She'd stayed up all night, terrified of a residual ghostly replay. Would that happen again? I inhaled. Nope. Nothing dead close by. And hopefully that meant nothing ghostly either. Chloe still looked concerned though... until she glanced over at me and smiled brightly. I could see my image reflected back at me from her eyes. A huge, dark wolf. But it didn't seem to scare Chloe in any way. Her smile didn't fade.

I shifted closer to her just a little bit – but purposely this time. The back of her hand lightly brushed the fur at my side. When I instinctively leaned closer, she did the same, burying her fingers in my fur.

I guess this should have felt weird, but it didn't. If anything, it felt kind of... nice. Chloe's hands were cold and my body was still blazing heat from my Change. I closed my eyes and shifted closer to her again, until she was almost leaning against me. I drifted off just as I felt her relax against my side.

I woke to the sound of the wind whistling through the trees.

I must have been asleep for a while – the forest was discernibly lighter – but I still didn't feel ready to Change back just yet. I figured I'd know when the Change happened. For now, I felt fine.

At some point, Chloe had shifted onto her side, her hands slackened but still nestled in my fur. Her head rested on my back, her body leaning fully on mine. She looked completely relaxed.

I watched her for a while, and thought about everything that had happened tonight. First Chloe's disastrous date with Simon; then our fight outside the house – Chloe telling me she definitely _didn't_ like me, no matter what Simon thought – and my attempts to wrap my mind around the fact that for some maddening reason, she didn't like Simon in that way either. I'd watched her walk back into the house, then turned around and gone straight back into the woods to confront Simon. Of course, that conversation was just as awkward, and almost more confusing. Simon was _so_ adamant that Chloe liked me in that way, despite what she'd said. And the way he'd said it, as if it were obvious, made me think... that maybe he was right. Maybe she did.

It sounded stupid when I thought it. Sure, we'd been through a lot, and we'd grown a lot closer over the past few days. But that didn't mean anything. Simon could have just misunderstood Chloe's concern for me. That didn't mean anything – that was just Chloe's natural way with people. She was always trying to help. Even when I tried to push her away.

But then I remembered the little things, like Chloe's fury over the possibility of me going along with Liam and Ramon's plan, or the way she blushed and looked away whenever she saw me without a shirt on, and all the times she'd seek me out when she wanted someone to talk to about all of this. Me. Not Simon.

It was strange, looking back on those moments. I felt like I'd known Chloe for months, not weeks. I already trusted her as much as I trusted Simon... and that'd never happened before. Usually I reacted to all strangers in the way I reacted to Tori: with suspicion.

I mean, I hadn't even really given her much thought at first. I'd used her to manipulate Simon, but I hadn't considered her as a person. That had all changed as soon as she'd confronted me about my plans to get Simon out of the group home. I'd started to see her differently. I'd started to respect her.

And when she'd helped me through that first half-Change, I'd started to feel protective of her. Not because I owed her, though I knew I did. She'd helped me, so I'd do the same for her. But also because I trusted her after that. She'd proved that she was a good person, and that was a good enough reason for me to want to keep her safe.

And for some reason, having her around during my Change had actually... helped. I hadn't known what it was at the time. But I knew that she'd made a difference.

And now? I still felt protective. I still respected her. But it was more than that. I found myself actively seeking her out for no reason. In these last few days, I'd found myself torn between feeling happy for her and Simon and wanting to constantly keep them apart. And tonight... tonight I'd driven myself half-mad constantly wondering what both she and Simon were thinking. I'd never admit it, but I was so out of my depth here.

I didn't know when things had changed between us exactly, but they had. Simon had talked me into admitting that tonight. I'd told him I wasn't sure what I was going to do about it. I still wasn't sure. Right now, I'd rather focus on one thing at a time. Get through tonight, Change back, and then if Chloe still wasn't angry with me – because I'd given her plenty of reasons to be angry, and I still hadn't had time to fully apologise tonight – then... I'd just see what happened next.

The wind picked up just then, changing direction once again tonight. Chloe shivered slightly, burrowing her face into the fur at my neck. Then I felt her breathing pick up and I knew she was awake. She lay there for a few more seconds, before I felt her scrambling away from me. I looked up to catch her blushing.

"S-sorry," she mumbled, "I didn't mean – "

I growled again. _Don't apologise. You've gotta stop doing that._ I nudged her leg and she fell back onto my side, instantly shutting up. We lay there for a while. It wasn't awkward. If anything, it was weird how comfortable this felt while I was in wolf-form. But a good weird. I yawned lazily, and finally, Chloe sat up.

"So I suppose you should do something wolfie," she suggested. "Hunt, maybe?"

I shuddered. _No._

"Run? Get some exercise?"

I hesitated. Running _did_ sound good... but I wasn't exactly sure how.

I clambered to my feet, ignoring my mind which protested at the strange new way my muscles stretched as my legs bend in directions they weren't used to. I lifted my feet – _paws_ – one at a time, moving slowly forwards. It seemed to work just fine. I was walking... as a wolf!

I moved my feet again and again, strolling carefully around the clearing. Yeah! I'd figured this out. It was easy now. I started to walk at a quicker lope, enjoying the steadier movement. I could do this! What was so difficult about getting used to this new body anyway? I increased my pace, and –

Ow. Something hit my forepaw – my rear paw probably – and I tumbled, my legs flying out from underneath me as I came to a crashing halt with my nose buried deep into the undergrowth. From behind me, I heard Chloe trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

I pulled myself up again and glowered at her. She smiled sympathetically, but with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Forget running. A nice, leisurely stroll might be more your speed."

I turned fast towards her, and she fell back. I chuckled again, getting used to the new sound it made.

"Still can't resist throwing your weight around, can you?" she taunted.

I lunged. This time, she didn't fall back like I'd expected, and panicking, I launched myself sideways, hitting the ground with a thump. Chloe's laugh rang through the air this time, and catching hold of her pyjama leg with my teeth, I yanked her down to the ground with me.

"Bully," she accused. I made another noise somewhere between a growl and a chuckle, enjoying the light-hearted moment. Chloe sat up, examining her pyjama leg where I'd pulled it with my teeth.

"Great. I finally get some pj's and you rip them."

Rip them? I hadn't meant to hurt her. I padded over for a better look – and then thought better of it when she sprang up playfully and tried to lunge for my foreleg. I darted out of her reach in the last second, and tore across the clearing, mud and pebbles flying beneath my feet. The foliage around me blurred; a streak of green as I raced past it. When I reached the trees on the other side, I stopped and looked back over my shoulder at Chloe.

Wait. Whoa. She was at least thirty feet away. How'd I do _that?_

I raced back towards her, trying to mimic my actions from before. But I couldn't remember exactly what I'd been thinking at the time, and my legs twisted together as I ran. I fell in an ungraceful heap at Chloe's feet.

"You're thinking too much, as usual," I heard Chloe say with a smile in her voice.

I snorted. Yeah. Right. If I didn't think so damn much, we wouldn't even be alive right now. I got to my feet again, thinking everything through carefully. Wolves are built for travel. I could figure this out. It should be easy for me. I bent my feet, trying to remember everything I'd ever read about the movement of a wolf. I tried again, with awkward, lurching movements, keeping it all in my mind.

_Keep it to an easy two-beat gait, feet down gently, toes only, flexing the spine, remembering to breathe –_

Chloe yawned. "Apparently this could take a while, so how about you practise and I'll head back to the house – "

I saw her turn out of the corner of my eye, and suddenly I was sprinting in front of her, easily blocking her path. It took a couple of seconds for my brain to catch up with my actions. Well. I'd hardly had to think about _that_ at all.

Chloe grinned, smugly. "I knew that'd work. So am I right? It's better when you act, not think?"

I huffed. _Yes,_ I conceded, though I knew even if I could, I wouldn't say the words out loud right now. _You're right._

"You hate that, don't you? We should keep a running scorecard, see who's right more often: me or you."

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, that'd never happen.

"Not a chance, huh?" She grinned. "You'd never live it down if I beat you. But I am right this time. Your body knows how to move as a wolf. You just need to shut your brain off and let your muscles do their thing."

I thought about that for a second... then dashed at her. It wasn't easy to just switch my brain off – I needed to surprise _myself_ to make it work. Chloe didn't move, and I found myself swerving around her without stopping to think about how my body was twisting at an inhuman angle. And it felt natural, because in this body, I _wasn't_ fully human.

I grinned – or at least, attempted the wolf version of a grin – as I span around, still moving in a circle around Chloe, watching as the ground flew away beneath my feet. She was right – this was something my body understood completely. How many times had I dreamt of running through the forest as a wolf, totally in tune with the scents and sounds around me? This felt like another dream, only this time, Chloe was here too. I could hear her laughing happily. She was happy for me.

And right now, even with everything else going on in our lives, I felt happy too.

Until I heard something very close by that made my new body suddenly tense up, thick with dread. I skidded to a shaky halt, ignoring the pain I felt as my legs shot out in all different directions and my body complained at the suddenness of my actions.

"You're going to need to work on that part," Chloe called out.

I growled, shaking my head. _No, it's not that. Shhh._

Chloe was instantly beside me. "Someone's coming?" she whispered. I grunted at her to keep quiet, but it wasn't necessary. The next noise – a long, keening howl – was so close, I didn't need to strain my ears at all.

"Dog?" Chloe whispered tentatively. But I knew that sound, despite never having heard it before. Dogs didn't howl like that.

_It was werewolves._

I instantly remembered the familiar scent I'd caught on the wind earlier. And now, in this form, my body recognised it for exactly what it was.

Ramon.

I pushed Chloe roughly in front of me, and needing no other warning, she took off at a run. I kept close behind her, trying to sniff out Ramon's scent again. Luckily, we already knew for certain that he was behind us. The wind was still blowing in our direction, away from him – meaning that for the moment, he probably couldn't track us.

Of course, I was assuming that he didn't already know exactly where we were. If he did... we were in trouble. Right now, the most important thing was to get Chloe back to the house.

She slowed down slightly, obviously trying to quieten her movements. I nudged her to keep going, keeping my priorities in mind. One thing at a time – if we got back to the house in enough time, she wouldn't need to keep quiet. And the lights of the rambling old Victorian were already in sight, when –

An ear-splitting whistle cut through the air. From _in front_ of us.

Chloe stopped moving, and I crashed unceremoniously into her, still not quite able to brake as fast as I could run.

_Sorry,_ I grunted. She got unsteadily back to her feet while I raised my muzzle to sample the wind, which thankfully, chose that precise moment to change course again.

I froze. Of course. How could I be so _stupid?_

It was Liam.

They'd split up and were closing in on us from both sides. Liam had blocked off the house, trapping us in the forest while Ramon searched for us.

Why had they followed us? Revenge? Fun? I didn't know and right at that moment, I didn't care. All I knew was that I was stuck in wolf-form, unable to communicate with Chloe, still slightly unsteady on my feet and not sure when I would change back... and now we were being hunted down by two sadistic adult werewolves.

Our chances didn't look too good.

"Who – ?" Chloe began.

I didn't give her time to finish. I wheeled around again, tugging her jacket with my teeth. _Run. Just run._

We ran.


End file.
